Didn't just fall off, completely drowned

I think I lasted a month, maybe 3 weeks on the diet boat. And then my birthday happened and I can't seem to get back on. To start with I only last one, one and half weeks with the Metabolic. It was working and I was happy but it was doing weird stuff to my skin - heat rash, dry, dry DRY skin so the hubs and mom told me to get off it. Rash and dry skin cleared up. Went to the doctor and they had some concerns with my liver (still didn't tell them what I was taking though I had been off for a few days by then). So I go back after labor day to repeat the test. Once I get those results, I may or may not get back on it to help kick start it. I ended up losing 10 lbs!! WHOO HOO!! and I've gained back 2 of those but I'm ok with it. I'm under 200, even under 190 so I'll regroup after our trip on Labor Day.
I have found I'm stress eating. While I was on the barely any carb diet and food diet, I was fine. I did well with it and not being stressed. sleeping wonderfully etc... so I think I'm learning what most smart people know - just how food plays a part in the chemicals in your body and everything. I've jumped back in and drowned in carbs and I'm a complete bitch most days and sleep is horrible - I know I'm sleeping but not resting.
So next week we will see what is going to happen... after my testing on Tuesday.

Wow it's been a while

Well, it has been some time since I even looked at Blogger much less thought about writing anything.
Saturday I started a new diet... ugh... I hate the word diet because not only do I feel like I'm dying but I want to kill the plan and everyone around. But whatever right... 4th of July week, we went to Disney World and I bought new clothes before it - size 20 pants! Enough!!! So I bought some Metabolic Majic 28 day program. It's only day 4 but part of me wishes I had never done it :)
So I get online and look it up but the site doesn't say much so I'm thinking this is something I can do. Order it, spend over $200 for it and when I receive and start reading - OMG! I CAN'T DO THIS CRAP. It's not just pills and drinks, it has a list of what you can get and it's sooo small.
See I'm a picky eater so that limits me. I get taking out carbs and sweets and breads -- all my loves. But I can only have fruit in the morning, and only from a list of like 5 fruits. The breakfast protein is either egg or cheese - Seriously 28 days of eggs or cheese (and 1 oz of cheese at that). A list of proteins for dinners and 2 veggies. Ok remember picky eater - I DON'T EAT VEGGIES!! So I have list of like 3 veggies so it's gonna get old FAST!
But again, I started on Saturday and the stupid scale said 198 (I did just get back from vacay the day before) and this morning it showed 191 so in that sense I can't complain. I've been dropping about 1.8 lbs a day for the first 5 days so it's working and we'll see if it keeps up and how I can keep it up.
Now if I keep this loss up this week, Tuesday I will be cheating. My branch won a pancake breakfast and I will be participating. But I deserve it right?? I'm rewarding my good behavior :)

Prizes

I think I found my November/December motivator. I found this dress at Lane Bryant that I love the look of (now that might change when I try it on). So I talked it over with the hubby and he agreed if I do a minimum of 15 workouts this month, then we can go to Laffy and try it on and purchase it if we like it.
Guess I better get to working out starting today! I hadn't so far all of November which means I'll have to work out days in a row!!!!
I'll start off by printing out a calendar and taping on the wall next to me to mark the days I workout. Going to be hard at first because I'm fighting the crud.

Struggles

There is a reason for no postings. I made my 20 minutes and biked one other time since then. I don't know what happened and I was talking with the hubby tonight to find ways to motivate myself. At my job I have extreme pride but I've yet to find it in getting healthy and pride in myself like that. So the same things that motivate me at work won't work on me at home.
So I thought about treating it like a gym membership - the average membership is what $45/mo if I say I'm gonna work out 3 times a week, that would be about $3.75 a workout and then I could use the money for something I want - books, shoes, games. But I handle all the money so I know it won't stop me from buying what I want or even have me transfer the money to myself. I can't do it by weight loss because I'll get easily discouraged.
So it's back to the drawing board on what to do and get my fat tail on the bike. I just got the majority of the money in to pay the sucker off!
Any ideas of motivation??????? It's always been my downfall :(

Week 2.3

Well I finished up my first week and have started my second. I finally got up to 15 minutes on a 20 minute program and it's kicking my ass. Seriously, I can barely get out of the warm up stage. But I'm working on kicking it. Weight wise, just keeping steady. I got down a pound but today when I weighed it was pretty much the same as when I started so we'll see. Work has been stressing me so that's not helping the weight loss itself. But we will see.
I'm still struggling to find a rhythm of days biking. Monday and Wednesday - easy peasy but finding that 3rd time is a lot harder. Friday's are longer days at the CU and Saturday/Sunday is well the weekend and so I'll just have to play it by ear.

Day 1.3

Well last night was interesting. I decided to go big: 30 minutes burning 300 calories. Lasted less than 5 minutes :) So I switched to the first program: 20 minutes like 150 calories... yep didn't last long with that but I did exercise so that's gonna be something. My legs were wobbly and I was hungry so tomorrow will be another day and hopefully I can go at least 10 minutes.

3rd time's a charm???

Well I'm on the band wagon again. I bought myself a new exercise bike - a nordictrak - that cost me more than I wanted to pay (I'm cheap) so I'm gonna try this weight loss thing again. It's been over a year maybe even 2 since I've tracked myself. The bike has a link with iFit and if I see progress I'll probably join up.
So in the missing time I've basically maintained my weight with the typical ups and downs. We have moved twice and are just getting settled back into a routine. Now I'm adding exercise to my routine. So let's see how it goes.
This bike has 24 programmed exercises and if I join iFit, I'll have access to more. It has a place for my iPod or book and I have a tv nearby. Hopefully it will work this time. First exercise goal: exercise every other day. First weight loss goal: I want down to 170.
I won't set a diet goal because I know better. While I realize that diet and exercise together works I don't have the mentality for a diet. Plus with my new job, I don't snack as much as I used to and when I get home it's enough time to do my second job and have supper.
So here I go again!

Day 2.whatever

Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE running. I do, I think it's stupid and annoying. But alas I am trying. We moved past Couch to 5K. We made it to week 4 and then had to stop for whatever reason. Now I'm using a phone app called Ease into 5K. Mostly the same but for whatever reason I liked this app over the C25K app.
So far I am cruising on through, running every other day. Tomorrow I'll finish up Week 2. It's better this go round for the simple reason, it talks to me and I get to listen to music. So glad I got my HTC. Last two days Hoss has been jogging with me as opposed to just running and I'll let him know when I'm done.
See what happened was... a few Sundays ago I stepped on the scale. Stupidity... it was some godawful number. Quickly texted Hoss and said we have to start TODAY!! We had already bought me some new running shoes (commitment 101 - spending a ton of money) and the app.
Much to Hoss's chagrin I've been stepping on the dang thing every other day or so. So far it's down 8 lbs :) It's not sustained but I'm rolling with it because I get easily discouraged. It's also why I'm running every other day instead of just 3 times a week.
Can't stop even though I hate it.

Here we go again

I've been in the mood for running. Ok so not running really but exercising with my hubby and he would rather run if he HAS to exercise. So Saturday after he officiated when we went and bought me some real running shoes. And by the amount we spent, we HAVE to go running. Yep I was looking for a pair for about $40 or so; he spent twice that amount. So today if it's not raining, guess who has to go running... US!
I have my new phone with an app and music and I'm going to start over on the C25K with a new app that is actually called Ease into 5K by someone else but reads the same way but will tell me when to stop and start so Hoss isn't yelling at me and getting funny looks.
So we'll try this again and see what happens.
I truly enjoyed our first go round with it because it was a good time to talk to him and be by ourself. But then we just stopped and never picked it back up. I want to get him in shape for his officiating camps and if I benefit -- AWESOME :)

It's a new year

New year, new you. Hear and see that all the time around this season. I get it, always good to start things at a beginning or start of a new week. Personally, I find that leads me to constantly putting it off. That being said, looks like Hoss and I are going to try it.
Last week we had our first salad ever. Spinach, carrots, raisins and mine had nuts and a vinegarette. Yesterday I made the same just added apples and chicken. Yep, threw that sucker back up. But my tummy was already queasy. Hoss today had a Sammy with spinach on it without me having to ask him yet didn't do that for me. So baby steps on the rabbit food.
Got back on the bike yesterday and did 2 15 min intervals. Hopefully next week we can pick back up on running. We both hate but realize it's an easy way to get in shape. So we'll see.

dum dum dum

So I am going to the doctor today and will have the obvious weigh in. Be interesting to see what the weight is.
I was going to jump back on the bad wagon for exercising what three months ago? Totally didn't do it. Still hadn't done it. Possibly won't do it.
So we'll see what happens in about an hour.

**Update**
Appointment canceled. Oh well, hadn't been in two years what's another two months. Guess I could weigh in at the house... nah

Wow

So it's been almost a month since I've blogged on here and probably longer since I've exercised.
Right before I stopped, I went to the doctor. Everything checked out fine and no news about the tiredness, so I took a break to see if that's the problem. And I believe we have a winner. I'm still exhausted a lot but not needing the nap as much. Guess I was burning both ends of the candle.
But I've got to get back on the wagon again. I liked what excerising was doing to my insides even if I wasn't actually losing weight. All my blood work came back great when usually it's a struggle with the cholesterol and a few other things.
So Hoss and I talked - ok I talked he grunted - and I think I'm going to go with 3 days a week walking at the crack of dawn (yeah lets see how long I last at that with stupid cold weather) and ride my bike the other days.
I don't know yet about the C25K, may look back at that in the spring when it starts to warm up and Hoss starts to slow down with officiating. But that could change next week for all I know.
Made a personal goal to start cooking more -- soo not happening. I don't know why besides Hoss doesn't like to do dishes but next month we are getting a dishwasher so maybe I'll cook more.

Who wants to participate

We have gotten off on our week to day system but that's ok. Yesterday we started Week 4. I know I said I was going to stay on Week 3 until I felt more comfortable with it but nope couldn't do that. I knew I would just stay on Week 3 and never move past it. So I pushed on ahead.
This week we are doing jog a lap walk 200 jog 2 laps walk a lap and repeat. OMG! I didn't complete it because Hoss was cramping but I totally jogged my 2 laps. And then was able to complete another lap, I just didn't do the final 2 laps. But next time I will! Ok I will attempt. Hoss wasn't doing too hot so I quit early when he finished he two rotations.
Went to the doctor yesterday. He didn't give me any advice concerning the weight loss attempt (boo!) but whatever. I did talk to him about the sleepiness/exhaustion and now I'm just waiting on blood work to be read to see if there is something there or something else.
I liked his scale better than mine but not much better. It showed some weight loss but nothing significant enough for me to be happy about. The nurse suggestion was the old building muscle but couldn't explain the tightness of ALL my pants.
So I guess I'm gonna have to break down and start some kind of livet (Hoss's word for diet because really who want to participate in something with die in it) grumble grumble grumble... I hate those things because I don't eat veggies and that's what they want. But first I'll start with cooking more from home and then work my way up to the real deal :) (because maybe if I procastinate enough I won't have too!)

I did it!!!

OMG!!! I actually ran two laps! actually 3 in total and not at once but two full laps :) Week 3 was 200 run/200 walk 400 run/400 walk and on day 3, I finally did it!!
And I biked yesterday evening and walked this morning. Looks like we are back on track :) I go to the doc Thursday for a BP checkup and I'm gonna talk to him about the weight gain and the tiredness that I've been experiencing. Not looking forward to that conversation.
But back to C25K, I'm gonna stick with Week 3 for at least another week and see if I can comfortably do Week 3.
Let ya know next week :)

Good idea, bad idea

Good idea: trying to take on the Couch to 5K. Really, it is -- lose a little weight, get in a better shape (not quite so round =D), spend time with my awesome hubby. The list could go on!

Bad idea: trying to take on the Couch to 5K. Seriously, it sucks! Yesterday I attempted Week 3 Day 1 -- MAJOR MISTAKE! I was sick sinus-wise yesterday morning and not really feeling better but surely I could tough it out. We had a busy night so as soon as Hoss came home we went out. MAJOR PROBLEM! 6:45 is apparently THE TIME to go to ASH and it was CROWDED! Did I mention I get run-shy when there are people around especially the stupid CrossFit people (They are BEASTS!) It's stupid I know but I feel judged. So instead of doing to round of jog 200/walk 200, jog 400/walk 400... I did 2 200 sets and quit.
Yes, it pains me to say, I QUIT. I felt bad but I couldn't do it. Between wanting to throw up and all the people (did I mention kids on scooters and bikes on the track WT!!) and the skeeters and life in general, it just wasn't working for me. Not that I felt (or anyone else for that matter -- kind of sucks if you think about it) that I could even do a single 400.

So Wednesday we will try Day 2 and see what happens. It WILL be at night (say 8ish) and might have to snag Hoss's iPod and go that route. Still hate that I quit but it's done.
Now I just have to move past this feeling that I need to throw up -- I might just be sick :(

Help me!!

I'm beyond discouraged here. I'm what 2 months in and that stupid scale says I've gained all the weight lost plus some and that's with a new battery!
What's the point of doing all this walking and even running if there is no change.
Yes, the scale is just a small part but my clothes are still not fitting. Put on a skirt today and can't zipped the stupid thing up all the way. Before I could! No where else have I noticed a difference in my clothes (good or bad).
Seriously this is stupid if that's how it's gonna be. Why slave away trying to do the right thing if it doesn't make a difference.
Yep, I feeling the urge to quit.

Yesterday, Hoss and I did the last day of Week 2 of C25K -- shouldn't have been hard but we were both HURTING!! I didn't think I would make it, then I didn't think Hoss would make it to the car! I have this HUGE knot in my calf and I was totally limping on my walk this morning. But other than calves and shins area, the running hadn't been as bad as it used to be. Still hate it.
It was funny though, Sunday I was in soo much pain in my legs especially the thighs and Hoss said I was having running withdrawals! Whatever... but maybe he was right :)
Don't know when or how we'll complete Week 3. Was hoping to start tonight but Hoss seems to be working and it would be 2 days in a row running but this weekend is full again and I'm not sure when we could complete it. Oh well guess it really doesn't have to be completed in a 7 day period, just completed... right?

This sucks!

It's been a long week already. And it's not been good on exercise front. I've only walked 2 times, did the C25k 1 time and haven't biked yet.
Maybe the stupid scale effected me more than I thought. Which btw Hoss said the scale was in fact wrong -- weighed one of our pups in at 60 lbs!! She's soo not 60 lbs (I hope!) So before Tuesday I'll be off to get a new one.
One leg is still hurting me from the jogging and Hoss is now getting a little sick and frankly I'm not caring about this adventure anymore. Maybe it's the lack of consistant excerise this week but I'm cranky and restless.
I know this - I'm not meeting my goals this week. Can we fast forward to Monday??

Bully for you

The scales are a bully and I no longer trust them!
It's a lie I tell you... a lie!!!!!
Stupid thing said I've not lost any weight and I've gained all the weight I lost plus some.
So I'm gonna regroup and take my measurements have use that also! Measurements will not be posted though. Sorry, that's a little much even for me.
And I'm going to lie to myself and say it's because I didn't weigh in on the same day at the same time this week like I always do because surely an hour and half and a day later makes such a difference in my weight... ... ...

NO MAS!!!

OMG! I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT!
Reminder: never run 2 days in a row. Reminder: NEVER RUN AGAIN!
Ok so I may be touchy on this subject but this morning reminds me of why I have always hated running. I can barely walk. Needless to say I did not walk this morning and I just remembered I was supposed to weigh in and I didn't. grrr... Calves are fine no problem. Even my ankle is holding up but in the front of my stupid legs near that stupid bone (or what feels like a bone -- I barely made it biology and barely passed) hurts to no end.
But guess what -- I did it! Day 1 of Week 2 which was 90 secs of jogging and 2 minutes of walking. But our mistake was doing it the day after finishing up Week 1 -- no break. Silly people :)
Looks like tonight I have to bike to make up for the no walking. I'll weigh in tomorrow :( and go on about my business fighting this running stupidity all the way.

Goals

Every week, I try to set mini goals for myself. Hoss and I talked it over and decided surely I can do 40 miles of walking and biking every week. Surely! This week, I sucked and didn't do it.
See in my head, I thought I totally got this on the weekends. Make up any extra miles there because biking 10 miles is nothing! Yeah well we only walk 2 maybe 2.5 miles for 5 days so that's 12.5 MAX minus 40 leaves me with 27.5 over two days that usually are kind of busy and well it's the weekend who wants to exercise. Needless to say, but I didn't make it this past week.
So now the new goal is still 40 miles but biking on the days we don't do the C25K which would be averaging almost 7 miles if I do it over 4 days which could mean I could have one day of not excerising if I'm good and bike 10 miles
Here's to crossing fingers that I make this goal!!